A man without a country

So I watched the world cup. And I liked it. Never paid this much attention before and it turned out to be a good game. Plus there are no commercials during the broadcast except at halftime, so thats pretty cool. And the annoucers say funny things like "What a caucophony here in the stadium" and they use the word "Brilliant" to describe every single goal. I love it.

So why have I been more compelled than ever to buy one of those adidas country/flag track tops? I have been out lately and all of the styles are half price. This goes against my number one rule - don't wear gear with countries or flags on it. I've followed that one ever since the Mondetta fad back in high school, where small town hicks would wear these white sweatshirts to the high school dance with some country's flag that they didn't even know the capital of.

But they are half price! And so colorful! So lets look at some of the options...

BRAZIL - well I just got back from Brazil. So at least it is from a place where I have actually been. But its bright yellow, not really my thing. And wearing a Brazil top is like wearing Yankees or Lakers gear... thats some front-runner shit. Even though I wear Yankees and Lakers gear.

ENGLAND (as above) - Well I have never been to England, but I hear my ancestors are from there. Or some of them are. But I can't really use that as an excuse - its not like my grandma even knows who David Beckham is. Plus the style was described to me as being too "Where's Waldo"

JAPAN - Well its blue, and I have been there. But it makes no sense. I don't look like I am from Japan. I'd be a poser.

PORTUGAL - The burgandy is great. But all their players dive too much. No.

FRANCE - It's a bright blue, which is OK. It has a chicken on it though. Again, I've never been there, although I hear I may have ancestors from there and I sort of speak the language. But it has a chicken on it. Or a rooster or something.

USA - No one roots for the USA in soccer. Not even the USA. Plus its wrong on so many levels. And I haven't seen any for sale anywhere either.

CANADA - I can't wear a Canada jacket while in Canada. Never, ever. I would consider it when I was travelling outside of Canada, maybe. But that happens for like 3 weeks a year. And Red isn't my color. And white isn't either because I will definitely spill on this jacket.

TRON - OK they also have these TRON track tops. What better way to declare 100% geekdom than to wear an adidas TRON top with the lightcycles embroidered on the back? I am considering this but it is not half price yet. And I could get the matching lightcycle shoes with velcro straps instead of laces. Stylin'. If they get a Fletch track top I am sold.